Changing scenario of Interpersonal relationship

Author: Dr Devyani Katti

Date: 12-Feb-2017

Introduction

In live-in relationship the commitment of two souls is very important to understand each other and to develop a relationship to achieve success in life.

Live in relationship in India is a major concern for Indian society. Few people think that it is an excellent way to test the compatibility of two people. If you can live together for an extended period of time knowing that you can walk out anytime and that will be it and you still can’t get enough of each other, that’s your cue that you are not meant to be together. Live in relationship is neither a crime nor a sin says the Supreme Court. About social aspect of it, things are changing. Ten years ago, two people being in a relationship was a big deal. Now society is trying to accept it.

The point is, you are never sure about weather a relationship will actually work or not? And it does not matter that you are married or in a live in relationship, your thoughts will never change. If two people really love each other, they will stay together happily, if they don’t, they will not. A mere tag does not ensure ‘happiness’ and ‘safety’. There are few benefits of live in like, it can give better insight to the people, planning to spend their life together and about their partner. But also give a small demonstration of how their married life could be. It is noticed that there are increased instances in the society where two people are living together just for the sake of the society because they can’t let the name of their family go down in drain and for it are willing to sacrifice their whole life. Live in relationship will give them the courage to move.

Thought process behind live in relationship

It is better to have a live in relationship rather than have a divorced life; this is the most common thinking behind it. Breaking live in relationship is much easier than breaking a marriage. As in India many parents are highly strict for accepting the concept but it is found that the younger generation is wider to accept the live in relationship. Some young people believe that going for wedding is just a waste of money because they think that their love does not need any paper certification or social drama. Modernization is also one of the aspects of live in relationships. Many youngsters are always influenced by new concepts and can adopt them easily. Trying new things in life is the basic aspect behind it.

Benefits of marriage come with a lot of responsibilities. The marital obligations towards the spouse, towards the family, towards the children and towards the marital house are an inseparable part of Indian marriage. To avoid obligations of traditional marriage and on the other hand to enjoy the benefits of cohabiting together, the concept of live in relationship comes into picture.

Live in relationship provide a life free from responsibility and commitment which is an essential element of marriage. This type of relationship has become an alternative of marriage in metro cities in which individual freedom is the top priority amongst the youth and nobody wants to get entangled into the typical responsibility of married life.

Discussions 

It is been observed that almost 80% of couple living in live in relationship get married with the same partner. People in relationships should definitely have the guts to talk about it without hesitation to their parents, friends, colleagues or anybody else.  As land lord would ask ‘single or family?’ most people end up lying to the landlords. Staying in hotels; as some hotel websites mention that they entertain ‘married couples only’. Couples must know about the laws made by the Supreme Court as well as the domestic violence act 2005. Supreme Court has stated that if a man and woman lived like husband and life for a long time and had children, the judiciary would presume that the two were married. One of the most common issue is the children born from live in relationships may have to face and be confused by other people’s questions about their parents unconventional union. But if children are raised in certain way and made to understand their parent’s choice they would actually contribute to making a more tolerant, open and equal society. In having joint accounts, insurance and visas and possibly in visitation rights to the hospitals, it would be tough if the couple is not legally married. The law traditionally has been biased in favour of marriage. Public policy supports marriage as necessary to the stability of the family, the basic societal unit. To preserve and encourage marriage, the law reserves many rights and privileges to the married persons. Cohabitation carries none of those rights and privileges to married persons. It is said that cohabitation has all the headaches of marriage without any of the benefits. Cohabiting couples have little guidance as to their legal rights in such areas as property ownership, responsibility for debts, custody, Survivorship. Family law Experts advise cohabiting couples to address these and other issues in a written cohabitation agreement, similar to a ‘premarital agreement’. The contract should outline how the couple will divide expenses and own property, whether they will maintain joint or separate bank accounts and how their assets will be distributed if one partner dies or leaves the relationship. Cohabiting parents may face legal difficulties if they separate without a written parenting agreement. Uncommitted relationships can cause a huge amount of insecurity. Relationships can become painful due to uncertainty. People may do something because it seems fashionable right now but most people do not have the stability of mind to face such uncertainty. Human beings have a lot of complex emotions and if they are not organized and channelized, they can go in the wrong way. Institute of marriage provide the emotional stability to couples as well as children. This is why in Indian tradition, we created a certainty to relationships. Once you are married, the marriage remains for life. There is something very beautiful about it. But at the same time, it has become a source of exploitation. It can be very ugly. So which system is better? There is no perfect system in this world as every system can be exploited and misused. At the same time, every system can be used to live a wonderful life. What we do out of any relationship is the part of major concern.

In any interpersonal relationship, stability is the important aspect. But in any live in relationship, there is absence of stability and uncertainty of economic situations, social, physical and emotional factors too. Handling these uncertainties may lead to mental disturbance to many people. Marriages can at the least provide emotional stability which gives a base to live your life more effectively

Researcher’s impression

In today’s lifestyle, there are many changes in the relationships of couples but most common is the ‘We’ factor. This factor leads towards the development of relationships and happiness of being together. Love, gender equality, care, parental support, understanding for each other, adjustment, positive thinking etc. are the key points which make a couple live their life happily and successfully.